26/05/09

Yet again, long time, no blog.
Busy busy busy >.<
Time just seems to fly by - it's almost June - BLIMEY! seriously, where does the time go?
I would say school, however, we actually spend more time at home than school however, it doesn't feel that way, considering we sleep for the majority of time we're at home :/
Speaking of school, I'VE OFFICIALLY LEFT.YAYYAYYAYYAYYAY. You can understand my happiness.
I hated that school with a passion, it was great, up until sixth form. The worst decision I made was staying on at my schools sixth form and not going to a college instead. But, I've done it, 7 years at that building of oh-so-lovely education - never again!!
I'm so happy, and not sad in the slightest, ha.
We had our leaver's assembly on the last day of term, 22nd May. Usually the whole school attends, however, this year it was just the year 13's. As we entered in to the hall, a slideshow was playing - on each slide was the name of the student, school photograph and what they were doing when they left such as uni or employment. There are 88 students in the year. The 'friends' theme tune by the Rembrandts was playing as we entered, slightly cheesy but okay...
Each person, depending on their popularity or how many friends they had, received massive cheers when their picture and information about them was displayed on the slide. Quite annoying. It was very noticeable that some people got louder cheers and more support than others, but who honestly cares, right? Hmm. Popularity isn't everything...moving on.
In the year 13 common room, it is very segregated - six tables - six different 'cliques' in a way. It's always been that way, I guess that's just how it is. I don't like stereotyping but have stereotyped people in the past, it's just a big part of our society, you can't ignore it. There is always going to be the 'popular' kids, the nerds, the sporty ones, the brainiacs, goths, emos - they're everywhere. Everyone wants to categorise every one else, so whether you like it or not, you're not an individual, you're always part of a group in some way.
Any way, well, out of these six groups, each group had a spokesperson, who went up on the stage, made a little speech about the group, mentioned everyone's names, funny memories, quotes etc or general ramblings and had pictures up of the group behind them whilst doing so.
My so called group was called 'the inbetweeners' (possibly because we sit in the middle of the common room) and according to the spokesperson 'an unlikely bunch of friends'. Each person's name was read out in turn, and something was said about each person - everyone except...me.
I would rant and rave about how I'm incredibly pissed off and blah blah blah, but now, I couldn't care less.
Fair enough, I haven't been in the common room for a while for various reasons but I'm still part of 'the group'. I talk to everyone in it, have lessons with them, are general friends with them, everything friends do, but somehow, I wasn't included.
Been at the school for 7 years, been in that group for roughly five/six years, and not one single teeny weeny mention. I wasn't even in any of the pictures on our groups slideshow, I mean, WTF?!?!
Fuck 'em, seriously.
So what, this blog is bitching about them? No, it's not. Not mentioning names or anything, but you know who you are, cos you will read this undoubtedly.
I wouldn't say I ever fitted in with that group any way.
Unless it was a 'everyone can attend' sort of event, I wasn't invited. I was not selected from the group to be part of a select few invited to someone's birthday meal or party, never, except by one person.
Even she's changed, changed to the extent I don't recognise the real her any more.
I never felt comfortable half the time, it's like I was an acquaintance, not a friend. I was never the one that got showered with presents at birthdays, now, I'm not being ungrateful and I know presents aren't everything but when most others in the group seem to get presents from EVERYONE on their birthday, and you are lucky if you get two, you start to feel unvalued and not wanted in the group.
I know this isn't fair but it started to become like 'you didn't buy me a present, so I'm not buying you one'.
I stopped buying others presents, because I never received them in return and I was not being mean, just basically making a point. You don't value me as a friend on my birthday, then right back at you.
I've talked about this before but It just annoys me. Not so much anymore, but the last day really put everything in to perspective.
I do have true friends. Friends that will actually last forever, I can't imagine even remembering any one from my school in a few years time, let alone seeing them. I don't think they're friends for life somehow.
I love the friends who I have things in common with me, take me as I am, like a laugh, to have fun, share the tears, capture the moments on camera, be care free and just be themselves.
I can honestly say, I've only know Beckie for about a year, and yet, it feels like I've known her a life time.
I value her friendship so much, she is a wonderful person and I feel like I could talk to her about anything. Love you Beckie.<3
So, school, over, f*** off out of my life.
three exams left to go, then it's off to uni! - I'm scared but in so many ways, cannot wait to see what lies ahead. :)

Exams
I had my film studies exam on the 13th May - it was okay - so glad it's over!
On the same day, I was invited by DisneyUK to attend the Jonas Bros. 3D Concert experience premiere in London!
I had an awesome day and really appreciate the oppurtunity!!

I'm currentlty waiting for Beckie to arrive - we're going to Holland for a day trip tomorrow!
Can't wait! *pray for nice weather*

I just want to say, I love you 'internet' people so much, thank you for all the support, comments, messages and videos.
You make me smile.

Thanks for reading,
Sarah xx