I remember...

I remember...

I remember the days of running; running so fast that I thought my legs would fall off...

I remember exploring the woods, hoping to catch a glimpse of the faeries..

I remember spinning so fast, 'round and around and around. I fell to the ground..

I remember gazing up to the sky, and seeing what shapes the clouds could make...

I remember dreaming of all the things I wanted to be when I grew up..

I remember the time, when nothing mattered...

I remember not feeling sad, because through a child's eyes, they always see happiness and hope above all else..

I remember not being afraid to ask lots of questions, and listening carefully to the grown ups answer...

I remember playschool. Making friends within seconds, never falling out, just playing, not caring...

I remember never being nervous...never afraid to do what most adults would never do.

I remember my colouring books. scribbling outside the lines, not afraid that it wasn't perfect...

I remember learning to read, tying my shoes and learning to tell the time..

I remember pocket money, and making christmas lists of all the things i wanted..

I rememeber beIieving in santa claus...

I remember struggling with the times table and thinking school was the hardest thing in this world..

But the hardest thing in this world, it to live in it.

I remember thinking I wanted to grow up
But now, I'm not so sure.

Where's Peter Pan? Isn't it time to go to Neverland?

Outside looking in..

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”

That illusion always falters, always.

I know I can't possibly know what to be completely alone really feels like because to be perfectly honest, I've never truly been alone. But you can be surrounded by so many others, and still feel completely trapped, isolated, unheard...alone.

I've never been popular. I've never fitted in. I know it's not about the 'fitting in' but for once, I would just like to know where i stand. I've always been the one forgotten when party invitations were given out, or left out of conversation, left out of games; everything in general, it was always me.

Right now I feel more alone than ever.
Two close friends, whom i love so much are here for me and understand everything but i come home alone every day from college and i'm back to feeling alone.
You. You're miles away. Miles away when i need you. I feel so lost without you here to catch me when I fall, to cuddle me and say everything is going to be okay, and to hug me to sleep...

Alone.
You may or may not know what's been going on in my life lately, but just know, nothing is okay. I'm good at faking smiles, but deep down, I feel like crying, screaming, kicking the walls, breaking things...doing things i shouldn't.
But i promised you I wouldn't do that, didn't I? .. i'm keeping it..just....

It just feels like I'm being left out of everything. Three's a crowd. I'm left out.
I feel left out and i just cant explain it. I feel like i have no one. Whether you say I have people that are always here for me, they're not truly here, with me... it's amazing, but it's not enough.

When you love some one so much you get jealous. They get jealous back and I cant help feeling left out when certain friendships form and they get to close. Jealously can be a good thing though, it just means i care, okay? ..

left out. left out. left out.

Breaking up from college tomorrow.
Then i'll have no one. Nothing.

I hate my family. They hate me. I love you. I want you here.

Thank you to every one who is so lovely and supporting me though, I really do appreciate it.

i cant explain this well at all, but everything in my life, I just don't seem to be a part of any more.
i'm always the one left out. always. even with the people i love the most.

Enough ranting. I'm typing in the dark and can't see...

I'm sick of this. Sick of everything.

You make me wanna die...

I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world..

Alone.

Alone. I have no one. At least, not here any way.
No one to hold me when I'm sad. No one to pick me up when I'm feeling down.
No on to tell me everything is going to be okay. No one that understands...
The one and only person who truly cares about me is miles away. I need her right now/
Everything is such a mess. I wish I knew how to fix it. I wish...that one particular thing had never happened. Ever.
People say 'you learn from you mistakes' but, how can we learn from this? It's tearing us apart. Slowly. But I'm not letting go.
Try as hard as you like but she means the world to me and i love her more than you could possibly understand. You're not gonna get us.

You started this. You caused the problems, the anger, the tears...
and yet we get the blame. We can't fix this.

One day you might understand what you did, the mistake you made and it will make you realise how cruel you really are.You think it was us who made the mistake of falling in love; but it was you. Your actions. Your words. Your fault. Not ours.

These are our lives, so let us live them the way we want to. No judgement. Let us be happy. Please.

I want to fly to a place, where it's just you and me. Nobody else, so we can finally be free....

12/04/09

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are. That's how i know, that at this precise moment in time; I am in fact happy.
This is all down to just one individual. Most people think, that themselves alone, cannot impact another person, no matter how small or great the impact is. But they're wrong. Just one person, one tiny individual in this world of billions of others, can change your life in ways that you could never imagine. I've always found it interesting how, there are people out in the world, that right now you just don't know, but some day you'll meet; and possibly stay in each others lives for a brief period of time or for good. People come in to our lives for a reason. I believe you did. It's strange to think that I lived my life for so long without knowing you even existed and now, just this thought it just too hard to bare. You're such a big part of my life now; i begin to wonder what exactly my life was without you. I thought my puzzle was complete and yet somehow, there you were. The extra piece to my puzzle. If you lose just the one piece, you can't complete it. That's why I never want to lose you. You're too precious, and I just wouldn't be whole without you here, now that you're in my life, I can't let go...
You may be miles away but in true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged, so really, it's nothing. I'm hugging you right now and you don't even know it...
Your friendship and love isn't a big thing to me; it's a million little things. You truly do kindle my heart. I will love you forever.
Growing up, we think we want our prince charming, our castle, our kingdom, toys, and anything and everything money can buy. But, money can't buy you. It can't buy what we have. It can't truly buy how happy you make me, how....much I truly love you. Money is useless because it can't give me anything that near compares to what i've already got; and that's you baby...
When we were younger, we all wanted three wishes. We'd always wish for a thousand more wishes on our third wish. But, you know something? I only need one right now. Just one wish; that even though we may not be together forever or if distance separates us and we go our separate ways, I wish that you will never stop loving me, because I know that i never will stop loving you. You will be in my heart forever. I want to spend my life with you...but no matter how big or small a part of it you are or will be in the distance future, you'll always be there. Live your life knowing that you have made me happier than anything or any one else ever has, or ever will. Know that for as long as I live, that I will love you will all my heart, all my soul, and everything i have because you mean more to me than anything. You could offer me the world but I wouldn't blink and eye lid because I have you. And to you, nothing compares.....you will be in my life forever. Nothing can make you disappear....
I love you. never forget...