12/07/09

I get annoyed at myself when I complain and worry about things that are so trivial compared to a lot of other people's problems.
I get annoyed at the people that seem to be so carefree - not a worry in the world.
Some worry about that fact that they have a tiny curl on one strand of hair, and freak out when their straighteners break whilst some worry about the fact that they may not see the dawn of another day. One person may worry and complain that they're getting fat, others long for the food we greedily consume.
In some ways, the people that have less than us, are so much better off in many ways. They don't want more. They want what they need to survive. Nothing more, nothing less. They don't waste their time worrying about small, unimportant things; they worry about survival, money, their children, whilst we live our lives complaining about the things that don't really matter.
It feels like when I complain, I shouldn't be complaining because there are people in the world who have so much more to think about, bigger problems, tougher decisions. However small and diminutive our own problems are, they always seem so much more when we're the ones dealing with them.
I worry about the future. Not today, not tomorrow, but the future. Now this seems ludicrous. Others have to take it day by day, they can't assume they have a future, or they can't imagine anything bigger or different in their future and yet, here we are, always looking to the future, worrying, worrying, worrying what the future holds. I do still live life to the full, taking every day as it comes, but sometimes, you can't help thinking, what will happen in the future? Can I deal with the stress of life to come? You honestly just don't know.
The pressure of getting a good career, nice house, making your family proud, graduating from university, passing your driving test, getting a boyfriend, marriage, responsibility...not being a kid any more, can be quite daunting.
I miss the days of being carefree, as free as in the wind. Spinning round in flower filled meadows, pulling kites, lying on the grass looking up at the clouds, listening to the quiet trickle of the babbling brooke. Sure, it sounds...tacky, but I like it. I like the idea of Neverland - you never grow up. If only dreams could become a reality, right? I wish.
The point of this blog is that, lately, I just keep thinking about all these things that I have to do, be prepared for, and also worrying about things that I shouldn't even need to be worrying about.
Some may sit and cry themselves to sleep at night because that boy wasn't the one, whilst the lady with cancer with two kids lying in the hospital is staying strong, not worrying, not thinking; just praying.
Microscopic problems, yet, we all lie awake thinking about the 'ifs' the 'buts' - I think we should just go with the flow.
Think of the amount of things we worry about on a daily basis and comprehend just how many of those things actually need worrying about. Probably not half of them. Seize the day, carpe diem. I'm trying to convince myself to do this.
I need to stop worrying about things, just get on and do it.
Life is life, it isn't easy. If it was, it wouldn't be worth living. You'd never work for what you really wanted. Where's the fun in that?
My blog starts of to be about one thing and can end up being about something else, but, I don't know.
Worrying never gets your anywhere. Every time you worry, think about the people who are sure to have much bigger problems than you, and think how they're dealing with it. They're not bursting in to tears, breaking down, getting depressed, crying themselves to sleep at night, thinking endlessly about it; they're dealing with it, focusing on the good things, getting on with their lives the best they can.
Stop worrying. Start living.
Live is worth it.

Sarah x